What got into me as a child?
Why, why did I feel that wearing red, dinner plate-sized Sally Jessy Raphael glasses was the right choice? I was in fifth grade and my glasses were three years on and I remember the day in second grade when I had to get them; there was wonderment that my body needed help. I suppose I hadn’t felt that way since I was a baby who needed milk and I didn’t remember being a baby needing milk. I got my first pair of glasses (a little girl in glasses!) and they were clear frames until I moved to red. Big red.
Several years ago, I returned to the glasses style of my youth — the clear frame.
Gone were the stylish black Chanel frames I so tried to rock. They just look bitchy. I am a nerd. I am a word nerd, a spy from The Land of Dork. I’m fooling everyone unless I fool no one at all, which happens regularly. And so the black frames, the cat-eye look, this is folly. I am the proud owner of big, thick, clear plastic frames now and I feel happy when I wear them. It’s like I’m saying to myself as a kid, “You are killing me. You are so outre right now. But I adore you. Somewhere in that child brain is a deep need for fashion and I suppose those terrible glasses are your little fashion trumpet. I might as well tell you: I have a pair, too. Blow, child. Blow ye fashion trumpet.”
The clear glasses above are from a company called Miltzen. Andy Warhol wore that exact style for most of his life (until he moved to red in his later years.) The truth is, my clear plastic frames are bent and nearly busted at this point and it’s time to update. I’ll be going with these. They’re slightly less socially inexcusable.
Not that I care. Not that I’ve ever cared that much.