I wrote a joke! I wrote a joke, I wrote a joke, I wrote a joke!
This is huge! I’ve never written a joke before!
And when I say I “wrote” a joke, I mean that just now, as I crossed the room to get something, this joke came to me. It just came to me in my actual brain. Scout’s honor, I have not heard this joke, not ever. I have never heard this joke and that means that I wrote it, right?? Probably other people have written it, too — it’s not too wild n’ crazy— but if other people have come up with this, I have never met those people or, if I have, they did not tell me this joke. And seeing as how I like to tell jokes and seeing as how plenty of people know what I do for a living, if this joke existed before this moment, doesn’t it stand to reason I’d have heard it by now?? Yes! So I’m claiming it!
Don’t get too excited. This joke is not going to set the world on fire. But it’s not too shabby for a first-time joke writer! Are you ready for this??
Q: What’s a writer’s favorite dinosaur?
A: The Thesaurus.
The Thesaurus!! Dinosaur! Writers…!! *
I kill me!
Oh, man. That was great. That was just great, that moment. I wonder if it will ever happen again. I don’t care. Thesaurus! What a knee-slapper.
I’ll be here all week.
*Ugh! Now I’m wondering if the punchline should be just “Thesaurus.” And you tell it like, “The. Saurus.” You know? With a clean break between the syllables. You tell me: Is the joke better if the answer is “The Thesaurus” or “The. Saurus.” And you’d have to do a little mischevious waggle of the head when you tell it with the second option. If you tell jokes a lot, you know what I mean. Writing jokes, people. Not easy.
Matt Maldre
“The. Saurus. reinforces the play on words. “The thesaurus” forces you to say the phrase too quickly, and thus passing over the clever play of words.
Ann Bailey
yep, what Matt said!
Shannan Sabby
Matt is 300% right!!!
Matt Maldre
haha! Thanks!
Kathlene Larson
You’re overthinking, Mary. It’s wonderful!
Christine Houghton
The.Saurus is better. I like it!
Kathi P
Cute,Mary. I like The.Saurus for Matts reason. But technically, your joke is a riddle!
Dee
Really Good one Mary!!
J&MB
Very funny. And the joke works both ways. Jim literally (yes, literally) laughed out loud.
#Mary heads for the Catskills. #tip your waitresses
Deb
I am sure my grandson will think it is awesome! He is so the dinosaur expert and our family loves play on words.
Wishing you the best!
Kathryn Darnell
I saw an ad in Variety looking for writers for the Jimmy Kimmel Show. I sent them your name and the joke. Keep your phone handy!
Gina
I was thinking “A Thesaurus” had a nice ring and timing to it…..
Michelle
I’m with Gina. A Thesaurus. It goes with the “a” in What’s “a” writer’s…….
Mary
ooooh you girls are GOOD. I love it. “A” it is.
Lindsey
So sorry, but my husband read that riddle to me a few days ago. It’s a good one.
"Sar’s Picking Me Up At The Train Station And I Can’t Wait To See My First Friend and Bonus Sister: A Song In Four Verses - Mary Fons
[…] I was crackin’ jokes. A few days before that, I was going on about television. What is this, an entertainment blog? Am […]
Claudia Donolli
It cracked me up! I always thought you have a great sense of humor.
jan-k
NO “the” necessary!
Links from July 2017 - Matt Maldre
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